If I could get a refund, I'd drop out of the Human Race.
Why would I
or anyone else in their right mind
Voluntarily drink Decaf?!?
This must be Leroy's weird idea of a life preservant...
What most people don't know, is you don't wear
seatbelts to save your life. You wear seatbelts so your car isn't stolen
while you're in it.
My reality check bounced.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
( not
like that you perverts ! )
Ambivalent?....Well, yes...and no.
If a car is traveling at the speed of light, what would happen if you
turned on the lights?
The Best irritations are man made laws.
No one has any idea who I really am.
Peanuts are an ingredient in Dynamite
Why is there braille on the keypad of the DRIVE UP ATM??
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone
annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown...BUT it only takes
4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother fucker upside the head.
What's another word for THESAURUS?
There's ALWAYS time for lube!
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
A "Jiffy" is equal to One Hundred Thousand Billion Billionths of a second.
Apparently ive been going in the wrong direction
"Beer is proof that "god" loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin
Agony ~ The violent struggle with death...
Why do supermarkets and mini-marts, that are open 24/7,
have locks on the doors?
I come in peace, but, as you see,
I am well armed in case non-peace breaks out.
In summary, I will talk to you, but, if you make any sudden movements,
I'll kill you all.
MAFIA is an acronym for "Morte Alla Francia Italiana Andela" meaning
"Death to the French is Italy's Cry".
LASER is also an acronym for "Light Amplification by Stimulation
of Energy Radiation".
I am a LOSER. Please kick me very hard. Thank you.
In the ignorance that implies impression that knits knowledge
that finds the nameform that whets the wits that convey contracts
that sweeten sensation that drives desire that adheres to attachment of that
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into if you dont mind happiness not always being
so very much fun if you dont mind a touch of Hell
now and then just when everything is fine
because even in heaven they dont sing all the time The world is
a beautiful place to be born into if you dont mind some people dying
all the time or maybe only starving some of the time which
isn't half so bad if it isn't you.
